The Seahawks Sold for $9.6 Billion. Your $18 Beer Is Not Paying the Bills.

The Seahawks Sold for $9.6 Billion. Your $18 Beer Is Not Paying the Bills.

The Seattle Seahawks are reportedly being sold for $9.6 billion.

Nine.

Point.

Six.

Billion.

So the next time an NFL owner explains that ticket prices need to go up, a new stadium needs public money, or $18 is apparently the fair market value of a beer and a cup of foam, please do me a favor.

Stop pretending you believe them.

The NFL does not have a money problem.

You have a spending problem.

And they absolutely love you for it.

You Are Not a Fan. You Are Recurring Revenue.

I know.

Your grandfather loved the team.

Your dad took you to games.

You remember exactly where you were when they won the Super Bowl.

Beautiful story.

The NFL has entered it into a spreadsheet.

You call it loyalty.

They call it customer retention.

You buy the jersey.

You pay for Sunday Ticket.

You park half a mile from the stadium for $80.

You buy the beer.

You buy your kid a smaller version of the same jersey you already own.

Then, when the team announces ticket prices are increasing again, you complain for approximately six minutes before clicking “renew.”

And NFL owners know you will.

Because what are you going to do?

Become a 49ers fan?

Exactly.

Stop Defending Billionaires Who Don't Need Your Help

NFL fans have developed this bizarre habit of defending team owners like they're family members.

“The salary cap is going up.”

“Stadium operations are expensive.”

“They need more premium revenue.”

“The new facility helps the team compete.”

Listen to yourself.

The Seahawks just sold for $9.6 billion.

You do not need to explain the owner's expenses to me.

I promise you he has people for that.

And yet every time a team asks a city for hundreds of millions of dollars toward a stadium, regular people suddenly become unpaid investment bankers.

“Well, you have to understand the economic impact...”

No.

You have to understand that a billionaire just convinced you to argue with your neighbor about why both of you should help increase the value of his privately controlled asset.

That's incredible.

Not evil.

Not illegal.

Incredible.

If I could get you to pay for my office building, buy a $150 shirt with my company logo on it, and then defend my company against strangers on the internet, I would do it tomorrow.

Your $18 Beer Is $18 Because You'll Pay $18

This is the part everyone wants to make complicated.

Inflation.

Labor.

Distribution.

Stadium operations.

Vendor agreements.

Sure.

All real things.

But your beer costs $18 for one primary reason.

You keep buying the beer.

That's it.

If 70,000 people walked into a stadium and collectively said, “No thanks, I'll wait three hours,” the price of beer would become a fascinating economics experiment.

But that's not what happens.

You look at the sign.

You say, “Eighteen dollars? That's ridiculous.”

Then you pull out your phone.

Tap.

Approved.

See you in the third quarter.

The NFL didn't trick you.

They studied you.

There's a difference.

And Then We Build Them Stadiums

This is my favorite part of the entire arrangement.

A professional football franchise can be worth nearly $10 billion and still walk into city hall with a straight face and explain why the public should participate in financing its stadium.

And people listen.

Not only do they listen.

They fight each other over it.

One side says the stadium will create jobs.

The other side says billionaires should pay for their own buildings.

Then some guy named Randy with a Seahawks tattoo enters the Facebook comments and writes 1,400 words about municipal bond financing because apparently this is his area of expertise now.

Meanwhile, the team's valuation keeps climbing.

Here's a crazy idea.

If your football team is worth $9.6 billion, build your own stadium.

I own a house.

Nobody from the city has offered to build me a new kitchen because it might increase neighborhood engagement.

Maybe I need better lobbyists.

The NFL Has the Greatest Customers on Earth

This isn't really an article about greedy owners.

Of course owners want to make more money.

That's the point of owning an asset.

If someone offered me $9.6 billion for a football team, I would have the paperwork signed before they finished the sentence.

This is about us.

NFL fans might be the greatest customers ever created.

We pay enormous prices.

We tolerate annual increases.

We publicly advertise the product on our bodies.

We recruit our children into the customer base.

We emotionally attack competing customers.

And when the company wants public money to improve its infrastructure, some of us volunteer to defend the proposal.

Apple would love this kind of brand loyalty.

The NFL has 32 businesses whose customers genuinely believe the performance of the product can affect the emotional quality of their entire week.

The Seahawks lose on Sunday and some guy in Tacoma is miserable until Wednesday.

That's not a customer.

That's a hostage with season tickets.

Stop Complaining or Stop Buying

Here's the part that's going to make people angry.

You don't get to complain endlessly about NFL prices while continuing to pay every NFL price put in front of you.

Well, technically you do.

But nobody has to take you seriously.

Your ticket is too expensive?

Don't buy it.

The beer is $18?

Don't drink it.

Sunday Ticket costs too much?

Cancel it.

The new jersey is $175?

Your old jersey still works.

Because every time you complain and then swipe your card anyway, you aren't protesting the price.

You're validating it.

The Seahawks are worth $9.6 billion because professional football has built one of the greatest money-making machines in American history.

And you are standing inside that machine wearing a $150 jersey, holding an $18 beer, explaining to your buddy that ownership really needs a new stadium to stay competitive.

Maybe the NFL isn't ripping you off.

Maybe they just know you better than you know yourself.